No Short Term Memory

Before I became a teacher, I was a neuropsychologist-to-be.  I got my master's degree in clinical neuropsychology and was part way through my doctoral program when I realized that I was working really hard towards a job I didn't want to have.  I loved the research and the learning, but the actual job I was moving towards wasn't for me.  So, I circled around a bit exploring options and here I am, a teacher in an elementary school library.  Who would have guessed?

One of the things that drew me to neuropsychology in the first place was a book by Oliver Sacks called "The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat."  That book included essays about people who had various brain injuries, neurological disorders, degenerative diseases, etc. that resulted in unusual behavior and perceptions.  The stories fascinated me and I loved learning about the parts of the brain that were responsible for these curious outcomes.  One of the stories that stuck with me was about a man whose short term memory had been affected in such a way that he could not remember anything for more than a few seconds.  He was living in a constant state of feeling like he just became aware.  He kept a journal in which he would write things like, "I am awake now" or "Everything written before this is false.  Now I am fully awake."  He repeatedly (but not for him) and always felt that he just had gotten it all under control.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because I feel that way with my blogs and blogging attempts.  I feel like I keep saying "okay, now I finally have it."  The difference from the man is that I still feel the weight of all the blogs hanging out there that haven't worked (either how I wanted for the students or for ease of maintenance for me).  I keep feeling that I may finally have it under control.  I wonder this time if I really have it figured out and under control... or, it is still only a matter of time before I am beginning another blog and saying once again, "okay, now I finally have it."